Friday, February 8, 2013

I am hoping for our den

I was in a restaurant(Mamma Rosa) in Helsinki downtown, having dinner with my colleagues, when I saw the mail. It was a mail from Shaikat vi coming with a shocking news. He had a surgery in his belly 2 weeks back to get rid of the blockage in his bowel but just yesterday the hospital informed him that he is diagnosed with a blood cancer. The type of blood cancer is probably: lymphoma, though the details are not revealed yet. I couldn't believed the text while reading it; am I reading it right? I read couple of times more, still couldn't believe it. Then I got a text from Wali asking me to go to his home. Sharmin was already there. They didn't tell me about it because they didn't want me to disappoint at that point. They thought I haven't seen the news yet. But my smart phone really did its job and provided me this unexpected shocking news :(

I went to Wali's home after dinner. All of them were sad. From the eyes I knew that Sharmin and Muna already cried for some time. Wali was a bit silent than usual. What could they do? Their dearest Shaikat vi has got this disease ;-(

I usually don't show my emotion in front of other people. And at that moment I didn't want to make the situation worse, so I talked to them in a light mood. Even talked about other things also. May be after an hour we left and returned home. On the way back home I was feeling so bad. Couldn't talk to Sharmin. When I came home I just changed my cloths and went to bed. Sharmin put off the light and came to me. She sensed it quite well that I was fighting to hide my emotion. She did hold me tightly and right at that moment I couldn't hold it anymore. I cried out and my body was trembling. I don't know how long I cried. When I was stable again I found Sharmin is already sleeping.

I couldn't sleep. There were so many snapshots of memories coming to my mind. So many things about dear Shaikat vi. I remember the very first days when I came to Finland in August 2008. I met him on the very first day. I still remember his smiling face and friendliness on that day. I remember finalizing our(me and Rajit vi) study plan sitting in his room. He was suggesting us what course should we take. He told us to include some fozul(very easy) courses along with the good ones to make the path easier but efficient. I remember crossing frozen lake with him by walking in winter. Also exchanging smile seeing a half-naked girl in the street in summer. I remember playing with him - table tennis, football, cricket, badminton, volleyball and so on. Lots of memories with him personally being so close. Once I showed him how wrong he ties his shoe-lace and that's why it gets loose easily. Badal vi was also supporting me and showing Shaikat vi's fault. Shaikat vi didn't like it. He got a bit angry and said that it's his choice how he ties it. The next day he came to my room in the university and admitted that he checked again when he got back home and figured it out that he had been doing it wrong for years. That is Shaikat vi - doesn't have pride and has not problem to admit own mistake.

I remember the 9 months, I was working in my department in the university. Most of the days I used to take lunch with Shaikat vi and almost everyday used to have coffee with him in the afternoon. I remember countless times visiting his home in weekend morning to have breakfast with him. When he moved to Kirkkonummi near my home I was so happy. During his stay in Kirkkonummi we had really nice time. Even if I moved out from Kirkkonummi in January 2012, we were in constant contact with each other.

I remember, among all my senior brothers in Finland, I told him first my decision about getting married in Finland. He didn't like the idea, he was trying to convince me to go to Bangladesh and share the event with my family. Somehow I didn't have that option at that time and I was rigid about it. Even though he didn't want me to arrange the event in Finland he gave me all kinds of support when time comes, just like an elder brother. From the mosque, he was the one to call Sharmin's father to ask about his permission in this marriage.

In the middle of last year Shaikat vi moved to Tampere for his wife's masters. At that time we knew it was only for a year and he is coming back to Helsinki. Just couple of months back I was talking to him over the phone and he said they are trying to find a home in Espoo, preferably near our home. I became so happy again knowing that it would be great to have him near us. He said, with laughter, that he would like to make his home as our den, meaning we would have most of our occasions, gatherings, events in his place. It's like a headquarter. I laughed as well. All of these memories started coming to my mind yesterday.

Today I heard they found Shaikat vi's disease in a very early stage. The success rate of cure from this stage is very high in Finland. It's obviously a very good news for all of us. But regardless of this information I am eagerly looking forward to have our headquarter in Shaikat vi's home, somewhere in Espoo, from the middle of this year, just the way he was telling me. We will gather there for different cultural and traditional occasions - to celebrate, to enjoy. We will go there when we are bored during dark cold winter and have a chit-chat. We will go there just to have a cup of coffee in the middle of the night. Even if there is no reason we will still go there and spend hours by gossiping. That is our den and I am desperately hoping for it.



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